I want to punch the walls until my knuckles bleed and the blood mixes with the paint. Right now.
Cold ghastly fingers gliding along the bed sheets. They are like icicles that bend to your will. Having wrapped around my extremities I’m starting to realize that I am trapped. Pinned down by a stranger. By an unknown. Goosebumps have all but disappeared on my skin. But then I realize it was all just a dream. Or was it a nightmare? Refrigerate my heart my stranger. Chill me to the bones with your articulated words rolling off the tip of your tongue. Let me feel what I have been waiting to feel.
Once in a while I see my friends. They either ask me: a)Where have I been? b)What have I been up to? c)How come we don’t hang out anymore?
Truthfully…I’ve grown tired of being out in public, spending money on alcohol and conversations. I’ve grown weary of the scene that I, a young 20 year old boy, should be participating in. Dive bars. Clubs. Popular eateries.
To me….I think a time best spent with friends is when there are no distractions. no noise. Conversation in the backyard over a cup of orange juice and water. Distractions amuse me. I am a weird individual.
I wonder if the things I have done to bring myself to this point of my life bring any substance to my soul?
A torrent. A hurricane. A whirlwind. A downpour. A gust. A storm.
You are a storm to me.
A storm that riles me up from the inside. You destroy me. You create me.
You rile me up perfectly with love and affection. And you destroy me so.
It is so beautiful to bear witness to it.
It is one of those nights. Oh one of those nights. The nights where the blankets feel a few degrees softer than usual. The nights where your head just melts into the pillow a little deeper. The nights where the night is….is. It is one of those nights where the darkness doesn’t creep into your room. It knocks and walks in. It is welcomed. It is welcoming. It is one of those nights where you close your eyes and you hear no inner voice. Where you hear no inner whatever. It is one of those nights where it is nice to fall asleep so peacefully. It just feels right. Right? Right.